Say I won’t have an emotional affair with your wife… while we all eat together.

22 May
We look at each other a lot at work. The tension is palpable.

We look at each other a lot at work. The tension is palpable.

You can say I won’t, but it is already happening. Did you see the way she passed me the salt without me even asking? We eat lunch together all the time so she knows I love salt. Did she pass you the salt? She didn’t, hmmm. I mean, you certainly can’t say anything about it. How awkward would that be. “Honey, why did you pass him the salt and not me?” You would sound like such an ass hole. Is it just me or is your wife laughing at all of my jokes? I’m pretty sure she finds me hilarious. I see that you aren’t laughing, but that could be for several reasons. One reason might be the fact that you aren’t in on our little inside jokes. The other reason might be because I have your wife bent over this table, emotionally speaking that is. Oh man, did you hear that? She just used the signature sentence of emotional infidelity! “That sounds like fun, me and ________ used to do stuff like that but we just don’t seem to get out anymore.” Did you see the face she made after she said that? That was 110 percent pouty face. On a related note, did you see they way her eyes lit up when I was talking to her about parasailing? If I were you I would excuse myself from the table and go directly to the gym because the way this jacket is resting on my formed shoulders has a chance of escalating this affair beyond emotions. You know what your wife is thinking right now? You have no idea, and that is part of my whole point. Let me put it this way, in the off chance that you sleep with your wife tonight you had better keep some lights on because she is gearing up to store this visual. In the dark she can probably imagine all sorts of things. Oh and before I go, I almost forgot, when you do the dishes tonight make sure you hand wash the knives she got you last Christmas. The dishwasher dulls them quicker and she really hates it when you do that.

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One Response to “Say I won’t have an emotional affair with your wife… while we all eat together.”

  1. Camden May 24, 2009 at 1:05 am #

    “The other reason might be because I have your wife bent over this table, emotionally speaking that is.” LOL

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