Say I won’t steer you away from burgers for a while.

9 Jun

The add that will scare them away… click if you dare.

Exec one – “Ok everyone, next year is going to be 1973 and I have noticed a disturbing trend. Children are flocking to McDonalds faster than ever. With the current demand there is no way we can keep up! We have to cut our sales by 6% or we are going to collapse under the weight of devastating and embarrassing shortages. Lets put our heads together, any ideas? We have to cut sales fast!”

Exec two – “Don’t worry, I think I’ve got us covered. Check out this new add campaign. We are going to call this guy the “hamburgler.” This guy is absolutely terrifying. We scattered a combination of rodent and dog bones in front of some of the guys over at Disney and told them to use these items as a starting point. Then we simply told them to draw “evil.” This guy is what they came up with. When they first drew him up he was more of an opaque sort of phantom, but we decided to go with deranged burger stealing criminal, hence the jumpsuit and mask. To increase the horror we are going to promote the idea that wherever there are burgers this guy might just fucking jump out and go to town on you and your burgers. Gary over there came up with the idea to now present Cheeseburgers as anthropomorphic beings with souls like you and me. It was easy enough, just give them eyes. I mean what child would want to eat that. We tried to give them a sort of destitute thousand yard stare. By uniformly looking down and kind of seeming open mouthed the burgers give off a sort of prison camp fatalist look that we think is gold. The idea here is that if your burger could talk, which it can, it would be saying “where did you take my family, oh god what have you done to the others?” Also, we threw in a surreal castle and some jagged mountains to add to the creepy factor.

Exec one – “Jesus, this is creepy. I don’t want to eat anything when I look at that. Christ, can we turn some more lights on in here, and what’s with the demon bears and the shrooms in the corner.

Exec two – “Wait what… There aren’t any… holy fucking shit man, I swear to god those weren’t there last night when I put that in my brief case. Oh my god, oh my god that is some really trippy shit. Where the hell did those come from? Ok, I am dropping this off at the design office right now and then I am going straight home.”

2 Responses to “Say I won’t steer you away from burgers for a while.”

  1. Scott Skiles June 16, 2009 at 5:13 pm #

    …or Mike Fratello.

  2. Kendall Gill June 16, 2009 at 5:12 pm #

    …that drawing kind of looks like that guy from Law & Order that always wears the tinted glasses.

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