Would you like to strike up a conversation? Do you have any exciting news? Are you seeking a kind heart and willing ears in your time of need? That’s great, I’m here for you. I’m ready to listen. That is, I am ready to listen and then use whatever I’ve just listened to as an excuse to talk about my time in Peru. You see, your story is not simply a story, it is a conversation rocket on its way to planet Peru. This is step one in a two step process that ends in me talking about an episode in my life that is in no way relevant to the topic at hand.
What’s that? You lost your job? No need to supply me with any more details. Let me quickly relate this to my time in Peru. You see when I was in Peru, and god was it beautiful there by the way, many people didn’t have jobs, so in a way you have nothing to complain about. There, don’t you feel better.
You say you have been spending more time in your car since they started construction on Franklin Parkway? I think I hear what you are saying, you are interested in hearing about how crazy the cab drivers were in Peru. There weren’t many of them but man did they drive crazy! Hahaha what a time I had down there. Oh yea, and guess what else. This really cool Peruvian guy named Juan Fernando, who I may or may not have completely made up, went in 50/50 with me on a cab ride all the way from Lima to Cusco! Nuts huh? Wait, what were you asking about?
Where is the nearest Office Max you wonder? First, why don’t you sit through my overly detailed description of Machu Picchu. You have no idea how beautiful it is! What’s that, you’ve been there? You do know… no… you see it was a really clear day when I was there so my memory is better. You are from Peru? Really? You might think the fact that you clearly have a better grasp on any and all things Peru is going to stop me from talking to you about Peru like it is my lover but you are wrong. I know everything about Peru and I am making this fact part of my identity so deal with it.
Whats this? You are choking to death? Is that what your trying to say? Your violent flailing followed by your semi conscious desperate grasping at my pant leg reminds me of a very cute coffee shop I used to go to in Lima. Also, if you squint, your lifeless form laying sprawled out on the kitchen floor looks like it is in the shape of Peru.