This Halloween I am going as the boyfriend who is uncomfortable with his girlfriend’s outfit.

29 Oct

saran-1
Hey what’s up? Yea, your costume is cool, nice poster board, I get it, you’re a facebook page, very original. I see that it says “friend me” by your crotch area, classy. Anyways, what am I? I’ll tell you what I am, apparently I am invisible, have you seen my girlfriend anywhere? She keeps avoiding me. We got into this big fight over her outfit and now she won’t even talk to me. What is she going as? Apparently she is going as “leftovers.” Yea, can you believe that, she half-heartedly covered herself in saran wrap and now she is walking around telling people she’ll be delicious when they’re drunk! God damn it, do you know how many sloppy seconds jokes I have heard in the last half hour. Oh there she is. Oh jesus! She is talking to that meathead guy over there who dressed up as a literal meathead. That is so unfair, he is overcoming his glaring fault, the fact that he is a raging meathead, by simply acknowledging this truth and then embracing it via taping steak to his head. Now he seems clever. Shit, she is laughing, I bet he made some horribly tasteless meat/leftover combination joke. This is the worst Halloween ever. What’s that, the captain of the lacrosse team just showed up, so what? He is dressed as what!? A microwave! Oh no, this won’t turn out well. She loves that guy. I mean how could she dress like that, if she stands within ten yards of a light source she is completely see through? Just look at her, she isn’t even fully wrapped. If she were really trying to look like leftovers she would have covered herself better. I guess she looks like last nights dinner, but only if last nights dinner were a raging whore with no self-control. Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that, I’m just thinking out loud. Speaking of thinking, I’m thinking I hear my girlfriend yelling “spice it up” from across the room. Yea, that’s her, she is top of the bar pouring hot sauce on herself. Actually, that is kind of cool. Wait, oh no, the microwave guy noticed her. Everyone is chanting “heat her up!” No, don’t heat her up, don’t do it! Oh man, that’s not heating her up, he isn’t even really using his costume. Why does dressing like a microwave prevent him from wearing a shirt? Oh man, that is one strong microwave, he has got her completely off the ground.

10 Responses to “This Halloween I am going as the boyfriend who is uncomfortable with his girlfriend’s outfit.”

  1. stra1tfiyaaa December 1, 2009 at 10:29 am #

    sounds like your comment is insightful if by insightful i meant dick whiplash.

  2. Anonymous November 6, 2009 at 8:13 pm #

    Am I an intellectual if I masturbated to this post?

    • rawstieone December 1, 2009 at 9:40 am #

      do all dragons have gonorrhea but don’t give a fuck cause they are fucking dragons? Plus its curable nowadays anyways so its no biggie. This should answer your questions suitably.
      “why you gotta be anonymous?”
      -bobby valentino

  3. questioned identity October 30, 2009 at 3:39 pm #

    Oddly reminds me of my own life. Only the girl isn’t my girlfriend, and I wish she would be.

  4. bahahah October 30, 2009 at 1:50 pm #

    I want to see a picture of this.

  5. Anonymous October 30, 2009 at 7:17 am #

    Well your life is over…you should probably just kill yourself.

  6. Anonymous October 30, 2009 at 1:19 am #

    Pictures?

  7. Anonymous October 29, 2009 at 11:18 pm #

    sounds like your g/f is a slut

  8. rawstieone December 1, 2009 at 9:30 am #

    Note to self: when half naked girlfriend pours hotsauce (poss the and1 player?) on self and gets humped by shirtless microwave it means I’ve lost points in her book. Must seek dating advice from Zay294 because i’m worried my girlfriend might be gone in a wee…

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. uberVU - social comments - October 30, 2009

    Social comments and analytics for this post…

    This post was mentioned on Reddit by Zay294: Break it up man. When she’s having that much fun after not complying with your request, you’ve lost a lot of points in her book. She’s partying, you’re pouting in the corner, and you’ll be gone in a wee…

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