Peacocking competition Part 1 – “The Meat Factory”

3 Dec

I was the oldest person at the Fiddy concert this year, whatchyou know about dat?

You don’t think I can peacock with the best of them? Are you kidding me brohan? I have been peacocking my whole life bro. Check it out… last night I did push-ups in the bar bathroom before I bought a drink, just so my arms would look bigger when I held out my money at the bar. Do you know anyone else who wants attention that bad? Didn’t think so boss. Of course my money was in a money clip, I went to the bank that day solely to get hundred dollar bills. Don’t ever doubt the lengths I will go to in order to be noticed. Still not convinced? You must not have been at the park the other day when I was playing basketball. Yes, I demanded we play shirts and skins even though it was 55 degrees outside and we all knew each other. No, it doesn’t matter that we were playing two on two, it is important that I am shirtless any time kinetic energy is used. How else would people be able to see me shirtless? Lets be serious, I take my shirt off for everything. Jogging? Shirt off. Football? Shirt off. Dance floor? Shirt off. Failed job interview? Shirt and Tie off. Watching “Troy” on my laptop with the lights off while drinking red bull? Shirt and … I mean, just shirt off. Also, don’t let these dog tags fool you, I have never served this country honorably, these dog tags are for peacocking purposes only. These tags just have both my self-proclaimed nicknames stamped on them. One says “G-Force” and the other says, “Nuff said” You know why I call myself “nuff said” hoss? Because look at me man, nuff said. Anyways, let me think, how else do I peacock? Lets talk about all the things I shout in public to get noticed. For example, I yelled “pussy” at the gym so loud yesterday I was asked to leave, I talk about my balls at restaurants all the time, and I yell all of the lyrics from the song “I love college” as loud as I can whenever I am cruising in my Highlander. You better not get on my nerves, because I will drop slurs like it is nobody’s business. I will even combine slurs in order to draw attention to myself when I yell them. That’s right, don’t make me call you a fagtard! And whatever you do don’t ever let me see you, or your buddy Nick, come down to my city ever again!

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