Seriously... What the hell were you doing down there?
“Let me get this straight. You were down there for seventy straight days and seventy straight nights, with absolutely nothing to do, and you didn’t manage to mine a single thing? You couldn’t find any copper. None… You. Found. No. Copper. Its funny, you know, that you didn’t find just a little copper, not even a morsel of copper ore. Do you want to know why it’s funny? Because you were in a goddamn copper mine! Is this a union thing? What, are we not giving you enough time off? If you ask me, which you most certainly haven’t, it looks like you just took SEVENTY STRAIGHT DAYS OFF! So, while you were are all celebrating your “huge success” and kissing your wives you should have kissed something else goodbye, your Christmas vacation. That’s right, your seventy-day staycation just cost you all of your vacation and comp time. You do realize we put a video camera down there on day sixty, right? We were watching all of your anti-mining antics. Can you explain this little get together by any chance?
Looks to me like strip dominoes followed by a toastmaster’s session. I noticed something else in that video by the way, you were all surrounded by sweet copper loaded crustal rocks. Not one of you thought to maybe grab a handful of copper. Jose, on day forty-four you didn’t get the urge to maybe just mine a little? I thought I knew you. None of you, not once, got the urge to just mine a tiny bit. You know why I was cheering when they hoisted you guys out? I figured your pants were stuffed with diamonds. Nope. No diamonds, and no balls either apparently. What about you Juan, all you ever talk about is mining copper. What do you have for me?”
Juan – “I guess I had some copper on my shoe, but I lost it on the way up.”
“Hmmm, OK Juan, did you hear that noise? That was the noise of your memory being deleted from my head because you’re dead to me. You know what, actually screw it. Everybody back in. No, you shut up. Shut up! Back in the hole. You first Juan, and maybe you should bring some copper in with you so you have something to bring me back this time. Jack ass.
