This post is dedicated solely to the funniest phrases that have been entered into Google this month and unexplainably led confused browsers to this blog. Here are the ten strangest Google searches I have found in the word press stats register. Enjoy!
10.) “Decorating ideas for girls room” – Unfortunately for some fetus out there a girl’s nursery just got the words “Say I Won’t!” painted all over it in rainbow colors. Google fail.
9.) “Pakistani origin UK racism site” – OK, let me sort this one out. Someone was looking for a racist website in Great Britain. More specifically, they wanted an anti Pakistani website. Hmmm, does Google somehow know about my random and unbridled hatred of Pakistani people and their culture? Does Google know about my spring break trip to Peshawar?
8.) “Blog naked” – This one made me think. Does this guy want to blog naked? Is this guy looking for a blog about being naked? Is this even a guy? Is it a girl? I’d like to think it was a hot girl simply describing how she likes to blog, and then typing that description into Google, and then Google knowing exactly where hot naked chicks should be directed. P.S. I tried Googling this search term and I found some particularly shitty blogs. In my opinion, if you’re going to have the word naked in your blog title you owe it to the world to write an awesome blog. Jackasses.
7.) “Diem boob job mtv” – So I did my research on this one. Apparently there was a girl on MTV Road Rules named Diem Brown, and she may or may not have had a boob job. Also, her name was in a blog post on this site 3 months ago. After a thorough investigation I have determined that she is hot. Now I wonder, how annoyed was this fourteen year old boy when he typed in “Diem boob job mtv” and got directed here? I just Googled that phrase and I can assure you I was sent places far from this blog.
6.) “My naked butt” – What? I mean, what was this person looking for, their own butt? Whatever they were looking for I guarantee they didn’t find it here at SayIwont. Maybe this person was looking for some sort of post, video, or picture that someone else put up of his or her butt. Who knows? Well, at least it doesn’t get weirder than that… oh wait.
5.) “Death by chin strap beard” – We lose so many R & B singers this way, if only we could find a cure. Seriously though, what on earth? Was someone out there taking such good care of their chin strap beard, keeping it so tight that they actually thought it might kill them? WordPress won’t tell me who made this search but I have my suspicions.
4.) “Vejina” – Ahhhh yes, this one speaks for itself. Someone spelled vagina wrong and as a consequence, perhaps punishment, Google sent him/her here. That is funny no matter what I say.
3.) “I’m looking at him pompously and continuously” – Ummmm yea, so that is the creepiest Google search I have ever seen! How did that lead this crazy person to my site? This is not good. I don’t want this persons arrogant looks anywhere near my blog, no matter how continuous they are. For the life of me I can’t imagine any scenario that would make that Google search normal.
2.) “Guys taking their pants off NFL” – I really hope NFL Films actually has the video this guy is looking for. Imagine if they did. It would probably have the famous NFL big band theme music rumbling in the background and it would also have to be narrated by Pat Summerall. In between some close up shots at some point Dennis Green’s voice would have to be spliced in… “They were who we thought they were!”
1.) “How to say sorry herpes” – … Where to begin? Rather than make jokes about this search I think I’ll just help this poor bastard out and share with him/her how I handled my last issue of this sort. Check out the cake I made at the top of this post. I wish the yummy cookie goodness would flare up every two months too!